Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
