please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I have grass duct taped all over my body
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
