I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I am available for nakedness
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