i don't like sucking hair
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
