OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
