he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
