at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
