So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
