He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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