I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
