lets start a swedish sibling band together
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
