im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
