I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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