Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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