You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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