Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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