my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
