She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
