I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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