with your own penis?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
