You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
