Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
