i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
