alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
