Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
