my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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