i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
