Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
