Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
