well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just made my gag reflex go away.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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