how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
