Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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