I faked an abortion last night.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Randomize
