Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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