You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
