My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
