who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
