i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
