wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
