we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
