someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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