:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
