An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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