didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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