i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
