I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
