I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
