Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
