Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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