the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
